Acrophobic
by EkaSwede
Summary: [Oneshot] Charmeleon's POV. Charmeleon has a weakness which is very uncommon to his kind. He will soon evolve, but doesn't want to. He thinks of one solution...


If you came here from TVTropes, don't expect much, I'm afraid

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. Why would anyone think that, anyway?

"_**Acrophobic"**_

I felt the cold, yet fresh breeze against my red scales. It was somewhat refreshing, giving life to the fire on my burning tail. I watched you sleep in you sleeping bag, having stopped to rest at this beautiful place.

I had silently broken out of my pokéball this night, I looked up in the starry, cloud free sky, and the moonlight offered me enough to see where I was. You had picked quite the nice spot to sleep at, if I had to admit, it was not far away from the cliff, at which edge I was staring out at.

At the horizon, I spotted the water reflecting the stars, something that could hurt me gravely if I ever got exposed to it. I slowly walked up to the edge, the more I closed in, the faster my heart beat. This was the night I had been waiting for too long.

Tonight… I was going to kill myself.

I hesitated, why was I doing this again? I looked back at you, you were still sleeping deeply. What I was about to do had nothing to do with you. You never did anything bad to me.

Or did you?

I looked at my claws, the bone white, yet deadly weapons that could tear up most things. You expected perfection, I heard you say that once when you had recalled me. Thinking of that memory, I clenched my claws, hard enough to make my palms bleed a little.

I had to do it!

Memories came flowing through my mind, every single of them were depressing. I remembered when that Pikachu came up to me, telling that I was worth nothing. Maybe that was before I evolved, yes, but I never forgot those words…

_Why don't you just go and drown yourself or something?_

Those words… they dug deep into me, and stuck. I have never been that good at breathing fire; I just… don't like it that much. I prefer running around, I'm faster than most Charmeleon if I might add. Much faster.

But that actually came at a cost; I was also weaker than most Charmeleon, in fire attacks, that is. I like physical fighting much more; hence, I grew up with Fighting Pokémon. And lastly, unlike other of my species, I was very calm, since being angry and hot blooded wasn't my style exactly.

But in the beginning you never minded about that, but you were still whiny about me not being good with fire. After a victorious battle against a Scyther (a weak one, I might add) you recalled me, but I still heard when you spoke to the other trainers, uttering the words I feared the most.

_When he evolves, he will be able to fly me to various places._

Fly? FLY? Don't you like me as the one I am now? I can't fight like a Charizard! They only use their fire and… fly.

But you probably expected perfection from me, evolving so I could take on tougher enemies of yours. Yes, YOURS! I… just don't want to evolve, I don't. And that's because I'm…

I walked towards the cliff again, looking down on the ground. I had to do it, I… I don't want to see your disappointed face when I tell you that…

I'm Acrophobic.

You'd never understand, ever. You'd probably say that I was not perfect, I was not good enough! Who'd want a Charizard who was afraid of heights? Probably no one! I know you want me to evolve, I know it. And you'd neglect me forever if I refuse to evolve. Heck, with your determination to achieve perfection you'd even try to force evolve me with a Fire Stone!

Sometimes you've mentioned to me about evolution, and asked if I've wanted to.

I was a coward; I wanted to have your respect, and friendship. I always forced a smile when you mentioned evolution, wings, and flying. No one knows about it, and no one ever will either. I couldn't take it, you know, and your Pikachu would boss around with me the whole time if you found out.

I started to slowly walk closer to the edge, trembling for every step I took.

I stopped again, slashing silently at my arm for punishing myself.

For my extreme cowardice.

Blood silently trickled down it. I ignore the pain… I deserve it.

I thought back of when we first met, you had captured me after a short battle (in which Pikachu never was involved in) and had let me out of your pokéball. I felt strange that day, and I still remember that feeling to this night.

When we were inside that building, where it was a little cold, and I had been treated by those… what were you calling them again? Purse Yo-yo? Anyway, you knelt down to my level and spoke to me, asking what you should call me. That dialogue would never escape my heart.

First you suggested calling me Charm, but thought that was too girlish. Then you thought up Charlie instead, but since your so-called rival was named that you didn't want to call me that. You suggested a few more names until you came up with the funny one.

Speed Burner of the Ice. We both laughed at that, and you decided to stick with Charmander. We had such a nice time until I evolved, hearing you say that word for the first time.

Perfection.

Frowning upon that word, I became more depressed, I couldn't take this anymore, I wanted to end my misery by killing myself. Like the way Pikachu suggested.

I advanced towards the edge again, now I was at the edge of it. My eyes were closed, of course, being the coward I am. It was just one more step, and my fear from heights… would never bother me again.

But my cowardice kicked in again. I didn't dare to take that step with my eyes closed; my whole red body was trembling with fear and prevented me from doing it. I took a step back, opening my eyes. It took every ounce of my willpower to not look down, but… I failed.

I saw water down there, about twenty or so feet below the edge, the sheer terror flowed in my whole body. My heart jumped, and I felt dizzy. I fell down on my stomach, clutching the ground. I screwed my eyes shut, not wanting to look, not wanting to move.

It had been so easy, just one short leap, and it'd be done, if the fire on my tail dies out, or is extinguished, I die. My suffering would have ended if it weren't for my stupid cowardice.

Stupid heights! I said.

STUPID BLOODY HEIGHTS! I HATE YOU!

I regretted that, I had just woken you up with my screaming. I cursed inwardly, I wanted to die, yes, but I never wanted you to see it. Never. I never wanted to hurt you.

"Charmeleon?" you first called, probably looking around absentmindedly.

I heard you gasp in shock when you saw where I was. I crawled slowly backwards, standing up to look at you.

"What is it, Charmeleon? Were you trying to…?" you inquired. I hope you know it was pretty obvious what I was trying to do, so why ask?

You started to approach with my pokéball in your left hand. I blew a jet of flame to stop you from doing that, it hurt my mouth doing so, you see, disliking breathing fire has it disadvantages. The possible advantage must be better breath, since it's easier to take mints. That's right, it was _I_ who stole your mints.

"Why, Charmeleon? Is there something I've done to you?"

If there's something you've done? How can you not be aware of what you're doing? Expecting perfection from somebody like me! I never strive to achieve perfection, but you do, and that's a disease!

"What has happened to you, Charmeleon? Back then we were talking about how fun we would have and when you'd finally turn into a Charizard!"

This felt like a kick in my stomach, I started to breathe faster. I put my right clawed hand at my heart and tears began to form in my eyes. I looked down, blinking. A droplet of salty water came out from my eye. While my kin was weak to water, it didn't mean we couldn't cry.

"You don't want to evolve?" you asked me, I looked you into your eyes, I felt my own eyes were burning of the crying. I swallowed my whole pride and shook my head slowly before looking down again, crying even more.

"Have you never dreamt of flying? Ever?" I knew what you were thinking, trying to convince me to evolve, weren't you?

I turned around, looking down at the still water, it reflected the sky magnificently, and I could see the moon too. I shivered quickly then and turned back to you. I saw the terrified look on your face, you may care of what I'm doing now, but later you will neglect me.

"You… you're afraid of heights?"

You had finally learned the truth. In shock, I backed away, staring you straight in your terrified face.

One step too much, my fifth step touched nothing but air. I lost balance and my arms flailed about. My weight was forcing me backwards and I was about to fall down.

You quickly aimed my pokéball against me, pressing the return button.

That was the last I saw of you…

The red beam that sailed towards me arrived to late… it passed just an inch over my body… I heard you cry after me in devastation, but it was just my fault…

And I fell… down towards the water.

It felt like forever… and… to my utter… horror…

I liked falling, I liked the air brushing my scales so powerfully… what have I done? There's no turning back…

…maybe I liked flying after all… how could I know when I never te-

**SPLASH!**


End file.
